After my first post on perfectionism went up, I had a discussion about it with some people who had read the article. The contention was that perfectionism is a good thing because it helps people strive for improvement and growth.

I thought it might be a good thing to start this post by clarifying that perfectionism is not an action. A perfectionist is not someone who does work perfectly. Perfectionism is a state of mind that can get extremely toxic; so toxic that it is often the one thing that stands between you and your potential.

There are a lot of specific issues that a perfectionist state of mind can cause and here are some of them.

Stress

Chronic stress is a significant consequence of perfectionism. Since perfectionists are always setting impossible targets for themselves, they are forever trying to achieve more than what they can. The chronic stress leads to high levels of cortisol in the body (a stress hormone that is meant to prepare the body for stressful times) for long periods of time. This physiological change causes a whole host of health issues including lowered immunity, cardiovascular issues, digestive issues, not to mention psychological issues such as anxiety, panic and depression too.

Unhappiness

No success is ever enough for a perfectionist. Even when they do achieve a goal that they have set out to accomplish, it is always something that was ordinary. The perfectionist mindset tends to trivialize achievements to such an extent that there is no joy left as soon as you have achieved the target. So, this is a case where you are forever and relentlessly striving for something but as soon as you get it, it loses meaning. The unhappiness caused by this mentality is such that it keeps you from reaching your personal best too!

Loneliness

Perfectionists are quick to point out mistakes because they are immediately and naturally drawn towards the issues and defects in every project, report or situation. No doubt, then, that they are critical of what others do instead of perceiving the achievements of others and praising them for the accomplishments. They tend to be judgmental about personalities, situations and actions too. Some perfectionists justify their critiquing behavior by stating that they are equally harsh with themselves and their own work too. While this is true, the fact is that excessive nitpicking isolates them from social groups, potential friends and networking opportunities. Most people do not have the time to wait around to understand the perfectionist and the good intentions behind the criticizing comments.

Procrastination

Every task that a perfectionist takes up needs to be completed in the most pristine manner possible. Needless to say, projects are never ending. In fact, some perfectionists get so overwhelmed by the perfect goal that they have set themselves that they freeze and are not able to start doing what they intend to do. Decision making becomes a huge task because there is constant and endless debate in the mind about the pros and cons of various options. Time however, does not wait for perfectionists either and they end up wasting a lot of precious time where less-than-perfect decisions could have been taken and progress made.

Inability to take feedback

While perfectionists are pretty harsh on themselves when they are evaluating their own work, they get extremely hassled in the face of feedback. All feedback, even ones that are given constructively, are viewed with suspicion or aggression. There is a tendency to justify the work vehemently or an unrelenting attack on the person giving the feedback.

Issues with delegation

Managers with perfectionism syndrome are tough to work with. Not only will you find that they do not delegate work, they micromanage if they are put in a situation where they are forced to hand over work to a team member. Even when a manager is able to delegate, they can’t stop thinking about the assignment themselves and ruminate on how other people have messed up the work in the past. When the work is submitted there is this tendency to correct the tiniest mistake and be critical (as mentioned above).

Disregard for health

Because delegation is an issue, a perfectionist person will take it upon himself or herself to do all the work. Be it at home or be it at work, a perfectionist finds it difficult to let go and therefore takes on so much work that they ignore their own health. The health issues are linked to inability to delegate, setting tough targets and stressing and unhappiness too. A relaxing day at a spa is almost torturous for a perfectionist because the mind is not still and continuously thinking about the things that still need to be done.

Compromised relationships

Not only does a perfectionist have trouble with team members in office and maintaining a social network, there is also a huge issue that creeps into close relationships. A perfectionist parent can drive his or her child mad leaving them feeling inadequate. Appreciation and praise, a key element of an intimate relationship, are non-existent in a relationship with a perfectionist.

Distorted view of reality

Needless to say, a perfectionist person has a view of the world that does not exist. While everyone knows that there is nothing called ‘perfect’. Most people cognitively also understand that most things are subjective and contextual. However, those with a perfectionist outlook cannot help themselves when it comes to striving for perfection.

The Summary of Chaotic Consequences

With these negative consequences, we have someone who is unhappy, stressed out, with minimal social and familial support, taking on a lot of work and ignoring health. While perfect may not be possible, this seems like a perfect recipe for disaster.

Some say that genes contribute to this mentality of perfectionism to some extent. However, childhood experiences also mold it, make it more prominent, and allow these tendencies to manifest. A child who has been forced to perform better all the time or one who is not given enough praise for small achievements is likely to remain in that whirlwind of trying to impress themselves all the time and nothing seems to be enough.

While it seems tough, there are some things that can be done to manage perfectionism. If you have spotted yourself as a perfectionist and want to avoid the unending negative consequences of the mindset, move on to my post next week on How to Manage Perfectionism.