this article busts some myths about Joy and Happiness. It helps you understand joy from a perspective that allows you to grow it abundantly!
After having written about two very misunderstood emotions (anger and fear), I thought writing about joy would be a bit relaxing and joyful for me too. A lot of us are today running in the pursuit of happiness and joy and yet, we know so little about how we can get there.
How Do We Look at Joy?
Just like the other emotions, there are a lot of myths that surround the emotion of joy. For instance, manifested joy is often considered to be childish and sometimes feminine too. It is, therefore, associated with having a frivolous attitude towards life that is not serious and impractical.
Most of us also think that joy and happiness are the same things. Joy is a specific emotion that we feel in a specific moment. Happiness, however, is a long-term concept that can be more compared with an overall state of mind. Happiness is contingent on the ability to identify, accept, and manage a range of emotions including grief, fear, surprise, anticipation, and more.
We also feel that joy is a good emotion to have and if we are able to be joyous all the time, we should be good. This belief has pervaded so many layers of our society that we have begun to obsessively look for joy all the time, shunning other emotions. The desire to be joyous all the time leads us to push back other natural emotions and that takes up too much energy. It leads to a depletion of life force, which in turn (more often than not), leads to a depletion of joy. In other words, the pursuit of this emotion is the cause of sadness (the opposite of joy).
The Necessity for Joy
Joy is a positive emotion that propels us to be hopeful and motivated. It is indeed a mental state that is extremely conducive to action and productivity. It is ‘joy’ that enables us to be an asset to ourselves and the people around us as we create good social connections and meaningful relationships.
Have you ever seen a depressed or sad person be efficient, productive, or helpful? Joy is self-enabling and it multiplies. When we are joyous, we take action, give, share, and feel. The positive effects of joy include a stronger immune system, reduced stress, better heart health, higher life expectancy, and a healthier lifestyle.
Too Much Joy
You might wonder if there can be anything like TOO much joy. It may even appear to be a silly question to ask. My arguments against wanting to be too joyful all the time, however, are simple.
The desire to be joyful all the time is not only impractical it is also something you may not want. With a mindset like this, it becomes difficult to handle and manage the practical ups and downs that life presents us from time to time. In fact, those who believe they should be joyful all the time eventually end up being extremely critical when they are unable to shirk off feelings of sadness caused by circumstances beyond their control.
While joy enables creativity, too much joy kills flexibility and leads to manic states. In fact, research shows that extremely joyous people tend to be too proud, which takes away their ability to be empathetic. It also reduces the ability to pay attention to detail because it reduces caution levels.
Excessive positive joy can also encourage risk-taking behavior. In fact, people in a state of joy are less prone to detect lies and cheating behavior in others. Being joyful is not always recommended in all kinds of social situations.
Lastly, those obsessed with being joyous all the time feel that they cannot allow themselves to feel sad. It is the most basic recipe for disaster for someone who is looking to be a happier person, overall.
Maximizing and Managing Joy
The moot point about managing emotion is to understand that each emotion is there for a reason and contributes to our wellbeing in some way. Joy keeps us going. It is the fuel that is used in all productive, positive, and engaging tasks that we do. Joy is also a huge component of the feeling of ‘flow’ that is so often talked about in the corporate world.
It is important to take some steps to avoid the dark side of joy while taking steps towards increasing joyous moments in life:
- Accept your current levels of happiness – If we truly understand that our emotions are messages that our body or unconscious mind is sending to us, we may learn to accept them better.
- Find joy in small moments – Overall happiness is comprised of small day-to-day joyous moments. Rather than wait for that promotion or raise or a new car to be joyous, savor every small opportunity you get to enjoy the present. Find joy in a calm walk, in a warm cup of coffee, a stolen afternoon nap, a chat with a friend, and your daily interactions. One very simple way of doing that is to acknowledge it. Pay attention and tell yourself how you felt after that long phone call with an old friend. Or acknowledge how grateful you are for your family when someone surprises you with chocolate or your favorite meal!
- Experiencing gratitude – The importance of gratitude is mentioned in almost every article, book, or research that one reads about joy and happiness. While it may sometimes seem a trivial thing to do, keeping a gratitude diary can immensely help in reminding you of the things you have (and probably take for granted at the moment) to be joyous about.
- Practice compassion – Interestingly, your ability to have empathy and feel/show compassion are directly linked with the feeling of joy. Think of how you felt the last time you did something for someone and you will know how true this is.
Mandy Hale put it beautifully when she said, “Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is”.
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