This post is inspired by those clients of mine who are touched with stress, a pinch of perfectionism, self-criticism, and an inability to allow themselves some fun. This write-up will be extremely useful for them. However, this is also a wake-up call for those who find it only too easy to allow themselves all the time to start moving towards their own goal.

We will look at how you can figure out the difference between a genuinely required rest or break and just using it as an excuse to procrastinate or hide from something you find too tough to face. However, before that, it is essential that this be said – you know!

You may have come to this article with a desire that someone will corroborate that you are indeed in need of rest or you may want to confirm that pushing yourself (almost into a burnout) is necessary for these circumstances. Irrespective of all the justifications you may find in this post, the real thing is that you know. You know whether the rest you are choosing is necessary or an excuse. You also know whether the crazy hours you are putting in are your priority or not. You may just not be asking yourself the right questions. If you want to explore this further, get in touch with me and we can explore together to find your best solution.

Signs you are Probably Being Lazy

There are some people who have perfected the art of being lazy. These are people who might justify themselves by saying, ‘Oh, I’m just lazy’. This is one of the most damaging things anyone can do to themselves. Giving yourself any kind of label is confining and constricting (one should only be in a box after one is dead). Over time these labels become true and you may find yourself living up to these subtle thoughts without even realizing it.

Procrastination – One of the hallmarks of laziness is that you postpone things you know you need to do. Most procrastination comes from a perfectionist mindset. The bias for action is sacrificed on the altar of perfectionism. Something needs to start on the right day, at the right time, only after all the information is in, with all the required people present, and the list can go on. Many people procrastinate to create the last-minute stress that forces them to produce results. In fact, I have heard many of my clients say that this works for me because I am able to do it at the last minute and get results anyways. One solution to this mad rush and to remove stress is to create an artificial sense of deadline for yourself.

The reason is that you may be postponing your tasks and assuming that you are resting before you actually do your task. But think a moment and ask yourself whether this rest is as rejuvenating as it could be? Are you actually recuperating from the effort of a job well done or are you tossing and turning worrying about the task that you have not started, let alone finish? Exchanging laziness for proper rest is not only not restful, but it is also terrible for your self-esteem.

It’s laziness if you are procrastinating something you have to do.

Justification – Being lazy is not a good feeling and you know that. So, when you are being lazy, you are likely to find yourself giving excuses to yourself (and maybe others too). ‘I had such a hard day yesterday, ‘I’m just too tired all the time’, ‘I am burnt out’, ‘I think I am just having a bad day.’

This is not to say that you should not listen to your body when it needs rest but to make you aware of the way your brain tries to fool you. The day you are actually feeling unwell or burnt out, you will not find yourself giving these excuses in your head. You will just rest!

It is also important to understand that our mind plays tricks on us and will always try to push us towards making it easy. Remember, we are living with a primitive brain in a modern world. The mind is helping you preserve your energy because the primitive brain has no clue when the next meal is going to be available. This is where you exercise your modern brain, the pre-frontal cortex, and override the primitive brain, knowing that you do not have to be lazy and that these are excuses the primitive brain is concocting to edge you towards not expending energy. Feeling that you don’t want to do it, is not enough reason for you to not do it.

It’s laziness if you find yourself justifying your rest or time off.

Feeling – Laziness does not feel good but rest does. When you are not doing what you know you should or browsing social media or binging on Netflix, give a minute to focus on how you are feeling about it. If your inner self tells you that it feels good, it feels earned, it feels like something you are owed, then you are in a good place. However, if there is a nagging feeling about how you are cheating yourself, or the pending work is playing heavy on your mind, you know that you are being lazy.

It’s laziness if you feel crappy about yourself while resting.

Signs you are Probably Denying Yourself the Test you Need

Negative self-talk – One of the most prominent symptoms of someone who is not resting and driving himself or herself to the point of exhaustion is negative self-talk. Pushing yourself too much is caused by a feeling of low self-esteem that drives you to flog yourself like a workhorse. If you hear yourself talk, you will hear statements like ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not privileged and therefore need to work harder’, ‘I have to prove myself’, ‘If I take rest people will just think I am lazy’.

Some of these negative statements have their bases in how you were treated as a child. The inner child takes a message home that is not processed as an adult. Even though you grow up, that message remains with you and you may never actually process the event as an adult. A simple solution to these beliefs that we take home is to identify when you started having this belief, relook at that incident, and process it as an adult (as a third party and not the child you were when it happened). Ask yourself what you actually want for yourself and set your own goals!

It’s self-flagellation if you are talking negatively to yourself.

Expectations – Another symptom of driving yourself too hard is that you have expectations from yourself that are unrealistic. Each one of us is born with our own uniqueness and comparing ourselves to the achievements of others is nothing less than foolish.

To set the right goals for yourself, you may need to think about what you find easy to do, what you feel is almost impossible to do, and then set a target that is just outside your reach. Setting a target that is too easy makes it boring (but that is not something that you do). Setting it too high can overwhelm you and make you either procrastinate or drive yourself crazy trying to achieve it.

Understanding the ‘why’ of your goal helps in setting realistic targets. Ask yourself why are you trying to achieve this and keep asking this question to yourself for at least 5 levels down. This is not a magic number but you should get to the real reason why you want to achieve your goal if you dig deeper.

It’s self-flagellation if goals are too stretched to be realistic in terms of time.

Double standards – If you see yourself being compassionate about what others do and feel that it is okay for your friend to take out time but feel you cannot allow it to yourself, you need to check your double standards. People who force themselves into imaginary slavery tend to have these double standards with regards to what they allow themselves and what they think is okay for a friend or another person. It is often justified with beliefs that ‘they can afford to do it but I cannot’, or ‘it is okay for them but I will not be able to afford a sabbatical’.

The minute you find yourself doing this, you may need to examine your limiting beliefs about yourself. We have a tool that can help you do this on your own by asking some very specific and orderly questions and answering them honestly. If you are interested in checking out this tool, contact us and we will send you the instructions. Once you have cognitively resolved the limiting belief, you will then need to let go of it!

It’s self-flagellation if you have different and tough standards for yourself and easier ones for others.

Both ends of the spectrum have been presented here for a reason.

It is sometimes natural to move from one extreme state to another. For example, a friend was accustomed to working herself too hard. She went through many years of working herself to no end. When she hit rock bottom, she had just had enough and decided to do something about it. At this stage, it became very easy for her to move to the other extreme and really become a lazy person because she felt she had really done enough for a lifetime. Slowly, laziness became a habit! Unchecked, and in an attempt to correct one wrong, it is often that we move to the other extreme, which is also not a good place to be in.

The idea is to find your own balance! Some interesting ideas can be found in this video. Use these pointers above to decide for yourself when you are being lazy and when you are allowing yourself rest, when you are self-flagellating, and when you are genuinely motivating yourself to work towards your goal.