Mastering the Attitude of Gratitude – Make it Work!

Enough and more research has been done to prove that an attitude of gratitude is what contributes significantly to happiness and other physical health benefits. Despite this knowledge, there are many people who are not able to adopt this attitude of gratitude or include gratitude practices into their daily life.

This is something that I realized when I found that many of my clients would tell me that they tried gratitude journaling and it just does not work. In fact, some even go to the extent to explain how it makes them more frustrated. Inspired by their experience, I write this post so that people can inculcate the practice in a manner that is helpful. It is surely not meant to be frustrating.

Why are Gratitude Practices not Working for You?

Before we look at some gratitude practices that you can try, let’s first try and understand why they may not work sometimes.

Practicing gratitude can become tough when you are trying to manage some really complex stuff going on in your life. It can be frustrating when someone asks you to be grateful for a cup of coffee when your entire career seems to be falling apart.

Gratitude practices can also become a burden when you are asked to do them every day. Some people complain that they sit with their gratitude journal at night and end up writing the same things over and over again (I am thankful for my family, I am grateful for the food I ate today, I am thankful that I am healthy etc.). It can feel extremely boring and most people give it up after a while.

Thirdly, gratitude can feel very difficult to practice when you feel that you are literally being asked to be thankful for things that you consider very basic. In fact, combined with the struggle of thinking of something new each day, gratitude practice can lead to more unhappiness as one feels that one does not really have anything significant to be grateful for.

Making Gratitude Practices Work for You

Gratitude adds to overall happiness and yet done without proper understanding of the concept, it can have the opposite effect of leaving you feeling more depressed about your life.

Here are some aspects of gratitude and gratitude practices that you need to understand before you review some specific practices that are suggested in coaching.

• The real thing is the ‘feel’ that feeling of gratitude and not writing in some journal or just saying ‘thank you’ five times a day.
• What is important is that you develop the attitude of feeling that feeling. The gratitude practices that are mentioned below are only tools to help you get there.
• There are no good or bad practices. The reason why we have listed down quite a few of them is for you to pick the ones that have the highest appeal.
• Test out the gratitude practices that you pick and see how they make you feel.
• Irrespective of what you practice, the results will show only if you believe in it.
• Surface-level actions are now likely to get you results. The change has to happen within.

The thing that you need to change in order to ‘feel’ the gratitude and for these practices to be effective is ‘Perspective’. You know how people say – Find joy in small things! The day you understand that these ‘small’ things are not really small and that these are the actual real joys of life, you would have changed your perspective. When you understand that sitting with a hot cup of coffee without being disturbed, the beauty in nature, a meal with your family, and other such events that we call small are the really big things, you would have changed your perspective.

We spend most of our time focusing on what we do not have and then try and find ways and means of getting it. It could be wealth, relationship, love, companionship, skill, or something else. There is nothing wrong with doing that because these are the thoughts that lead to creativity and progress and development. The idea is to also FOCUS on what you DO HAVE and give it (at least) equal weightage.

Gratitude Practices to Choose From

1. Appreciate yourself – Stand in front of the mirror and look at all that you love about yourself. Practice self-compassion when you do this practice and make sure to keep the element of comparison away. Even if it seems tough, the idea is to try and remember things about you that you like. This could be in any area – something you are, some skill you have, something you did or said, or some achievement. However, the idea is to bring your focus to how awesome you are and that is something to be grateful for.
2. Gratitude journal – The journal is a tricky one because it can sometimes get overbearing. Use the gratitude journal in a manner that makes you feel better. It is always a good idea to think of something specific to write about rather than a general statement (like I am thankful for my family). An example of such a journal entry would be – I am thankful for the manner in which my dog bounced up to me when I returned from my trip.
3. Saying ‘thank you’ – Over the years there are probably many people who have impacted your life. Try this exercise where you write a thank you note to one of them each week for a few weeks. Email the note to them or better still call them up and read it out to them. As odd as it may sound right now and feel when you start to do it, it will have an amazing effect on your overall happiness as you capture than amazing people who have come into your life and impacted it positively.
4. Noticing the good things – Slow down for some time during the day and notice everything. Stand in your balcony and look at the amazing trees or the insect traveling on the railing or the feel of the wind on your skin. Taking some time to exist in the present moment (and not in the past or future in your head) can help you learn mindfulness; something that leads to an attitude of gratitude most of the time.
5. Gratitude jar/Gratitude collage – These are a couple of crafty ideas for you to remind yourself that you have many things to be grateful for. Just keep adding a note about what you were grateful for throughout the year and open it on New Year’s Eve or create a collage that you can stick up on your refrigerator to remind you of all the good things in your life.
6. Find gratitude in your challenges – Sometimes it is tough to be grateful when things are not going your way. But there is always a silver lining. Doing this practice can help you accept what ‘is’ in an easier way so that you can change what you need to more efficiently. For example, if you missed getting up with the alarm and are late to work, think of how you got some extra winks, how you will be more efficient at work given you are well-rested, and how you bumped into the friend who goes to the office at a later time (someone you may not have met in a long time due to your busy schedule).
7. Volunteer – This is a gratitude practice that is extremely hard-hitting and effective. When you volunteer, you solve 2 objectives. Firstly, you support those who could do with your help, and secondly, you also remind yourself of all the things that you take for granted are worth much more than you give them credit for.

Good luck with your gratitude practice! If you are looking at more ways to change your perspective, give up limiting beliefs, and move from being okay to more joyful, get in touch for more information.