I have been wanting to write this one for some time now but haven’t gotten to it thus far! For many posts now, I have been discussing the whole idea of our reality being so subjective that there is nothing one can do to make it absolute. As people of science, we know that the human body and senses (the means by which we take in information) itself is limited in nature. Our memories are also not video tapes that we can replay back to relive or experience actually what happened but they are marred by perceptions, filters, and cognitive processes that block or suppress some aspects of memory.
If one believes that we cannot know reality in absoluteness, then it also implies that create our own reality based on our thoughts and beliefs. Interestingly, the next thought that comes in my head is – What is stopping ourselves from creating a reality for ourselves that is blissful, happy, positive and beneficial for us? The simple answers to that is ‘Limiting Beliefs’ that we do not let go of!
Limiting Beliefs that Stand in Our Way
There are various kinds of limiting beliefs that we stick on to that can hold us back from being what we are meant to be. Quoting from Avengers – the End Game, “Everyone fails at who they are supposed to be. A measure of a person, a true hero, is how well they succeed at being who they are”.
What keeps you away from being who you are is a set of beliefs that you can shed the minute you decide you don’t want them anymore because they are holding you back.
I help remember these limiting beliefs in a simple acronym called the PIPE dream. It helps me remember these limiting beliefs so I can catch myself every time I fall into this trap. I try and watch myself during conversations with people, when I am thinking about my next step in life, when I am parenting my child and when I am enjoying with friends too. I have discovered it is a great way of learning more about myself than I knew before! Here I share with you the PIPE dream that we need to let go of!
Pleasurer
These are the beliefs held by us when we want everyone to like us. We believe that everyone should approve of the actions we take, the manner in which we live our life and that we cannot be disliked. If you are a victim of such a limiting belief, you are likely to hate it when you hear that someone does not like you. You will notice that you immediately try and seek a rationalization for why it is that the other person does not like you or find excuses for the situation. Some people may also start to doubt themselves, as if they ‘need’ to be different in order to accommodate those people who don’t like them.
This is a limiting belief because when you try and get everyone’s approval or try and ‘please’ most of the time, you are not being true to yourself. Instead of thinking what you would like to do or the way in which you would like to live the life that is your gift, you focus on what others would like you to do, so that you are liked and loved! This limiting belief can sometimes arise from a feeling of under-confidence and maybe you want to explore it further to understand why that is the case!
Irresponsible
This is a limiting belief that is most found in those who have an external locus of existence. When we have this limiting belief, we tend to believe that things are out of our control, emotions are too string and that we are powerless. This limiting PIPE dream also includes a feeling of helplessness where one believes that the future will be the same as the past and that someone or something is to blame for the things that are happening. Typically grown people who blame their parents for things they did or did not do suffer from this limiting belief.
Being irresponsible is sometimes an escapist attitude and at other times one is just not confident about oneself. When we fall prey to this limiting belief, we leave things to luck, circumstances and become mere puppets in the hands of others. There is often no goal or direction and life can get pretty ‘nishkarm’ (without action) in such instances.
Perfectionist
Perfectionism may sound really cool because it shows that you are aiming for the best outcome and working towards it. However, it is not only about trying hard to do things better. It is also about trying to do something perfectly, on time each time, and without any mistakes. Perfectionists want to succeed (and in the best way possible) at whatever they try and do or else it feels worthless.
The reason why this belief is limiting is because perfection is subjective in many areas and even when it is not the strife towards perfection can be numbing and debilitating. Some people do not try things because they are not okay with not being the best. Others may drive themselves insane and reach into depths of depression because they are not the best (I remember how I would not let my parents celebrate my high school results because I got 0.8% less than what I had aimed for)! Perfectionism destroys the joy of life and can be disgustingly boring too!
Entitled
This one seems to be the bane of the millennial generation! People who have these entitled limiting beliefs tend to believe that everyone around them should work towards making them happy, that they have every right to punish people who do not make them happy or annoy them, that things should work out in the way that they want and that there should be not sadness or discomfort in life for them.
The ludicrousness of this belief comes forth when you question any of these. Why should everyone make us happy and what right do we have to punish anyone who goes about doing their thing but is not making us happy? Things do not always work out in our favor and we know that sadness and discomfort happen to everyone in some form or another at some time.
Believing that you are entitled does not make you entitled. In fact, the Bhagwad Gita would say it does not make you entitled even if you have put in the effort because it believes that one should do the action and not wish for specific results (Karm kiye ja, phal ki ichcha mat kar!). Such beliefs will not change the way in which the world operates but only cause you pain, anger, irritation and frustration.
So, keep a watch out for your PIPE dreams and catch yourself so you can work your way towards removing these internal obstacles. Tackling the external obstacles becomes so much easier when you have overcome these limiting beliefs!
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