How many times have we heard we are the only ones that stand in the path of our own success? We are told by the wise that we just have to allow ourselves to succeed and believe that we are good enough, strong enough, intelligent enough and worthy and deserving of our success.
Like we all know, saying these things and practicing them are two different things altogether. This post is my attempt to demystify these kinds of quotes so that you can feel more empowered in your life.
As humans, we have great potential to overcome hardships. We have seen that in cases of trauma and tragedies. When put in a situation that seems unsurmountable, people have risen beyond what seems like their capacity and taken action that has surprised many others. This only proves that when push comes to shove, the potential exists in us to do things that we may not otherwise believe we are capable of.
So, what is the difference between those who succeed in doing thing that seem impossible and those who struggle with achieving a proportion of their goals. As the wise old people told us – it is all about mindset and what you believe about yourself.
The kind of beliefs that an empowered person has are very different from those of someone who gives up. Here are the 6 gems that empowered people live by:
1. I process experience and am not a passive victim of circumstances around me
This belief stems from what you may believe is the locus of control in your life. Some people are more inclined to believe that what is happening is destined and that they have minimal or no role to play in the way that things turn out. Needless to say, there is an innate or unconscious belief that holds them back and keeps them from achieving what they potentially can. A stringer external locus of control can even lead to people not having specific goals that they want to achieve, let alone trying to achieve them.
Those who are empowered tend to have an internal locus of control. They believe the external world does the things that it does but it is for us to process that information and interpret in the manner that is beneficial to us. This brings about a positivity that allows them to move forward. As the absolute truth is impossible to ascertain, it is always better to interpret the circumstances in a way that benefit us.
2. I am not a broken entity that needs to be fixed. I am complete and whole and I just need to understand myself
Those who believe that they are a broken entity tend to focus on what is wrong in them. Cognitively, we all know that no one is perfect. But if you consider yourself broken or imperfect in some way, you will always find an excuse that is keeping you from achieving your goals.
When we believe that we are whole and all we need to do is to understand ourselves better, we are able to then focus on what our heart truly desires and work towards it. It is only when we look inside and see ourselves without the layers of beliefs that we have gathered, that we can discover our true calling.
3. I may have learnt unhelpful ways of thinking along the way but I can unlearn them equally quickly
Past occurrences in our lives tend to make us believe certain things to be true. Someone rejects us and we feel that we are not good enough and start to doubt ourselves. A parent is overly critical all the time and we lose confidence in ourselves.
Empowered people have the ability to identify these thoughts, unravel them and unlearn them on their own. However, it does get tough to look at things objectively especially when you are involved. Those who seek to be more empowered seek the right kind of help from an insightful friend, a relative, a partner, or a coach.
4. I am solely responsible for my thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors
Taking responsibility of your actions has always been touted as a sign of maturity. Taking responsibility for your feelings is often sidelined (especially when we say things like ‘he is making me angry’ or ‘he hurt me’). It is important to do both.
Taking responsibility of your actions has always been touted as a sign of maturity. Taking responsibility for your feelings is often sidelined (especially when we say things like ‘he is making me angry’ or ‘he hurt me’). It is important to do both.
People who are empowered do not blame other people for their feelings or actions. If they are angry, they try and understand what is bothering them, what they can do about it, accept it if they can or change their own way of thinking rather than blame the other person for regulating their anger. Similarly, if they feel hurt, then they analyze the expectations they have had from the person and question whether they were faulty all along.
5. I may not be able to control the thoughts that enter my head but I can surely choose to act upon them or not
The first instance of a thought appearing in your head is a mystery to many. Why a particular thought surfaces from the depths of your unconscious mind can be assessed to some degree by the triggers in the environment but there are other times when you do not know why you thought of something.
However, you can decide what to do with that thought. Does it need more deliberation? Do you need to understand it better? Do you need to take action based on that thought? Should you deep dive into a guided discovery phase (assisted or unassisted)? Should you take action based on tat thought? Is it a negative thought that holds you back or a positive one that gives you more power? Empowered people give more attention and therefore more energy to the positive thoughts and either avoid or unlearn negative thoughts!
6. I have the ability to choose a new set of habits, thought patterns and behaviors each day
‘I just can’t get out of bed early in the morning’. ‘I don’t think I can travel alone’. ‘I can’t find it in myself to take a morning walk every day’. Thoughts such as these imply that you are hiding behind your old habits, assumed personality or thought patterns to not do something that you know you should. Think of the real thing that is stopping you from making a change, check the obstacles that are standing in your way and how you can manage them. More often than not, you may find that there is nothing other than your belief about your habits (I am too lazy or I am not bold enough etc.) that is stopping you.
People who live an empowered life choose to break habits if they come in the way of achieving what they want. If habits can be inculcated over time, they can also be changed or modified or given up – that is the belief that makes them take control of their lives.
In Conclusion
One might think that these are a whole set of words again! Yes, they are! But when we feed ourselves with new ideas and thoughts and try and apply them to our lives, we can then try and change some of the things that we want to change to become more empowered.
Don’t just read this article. Think of one goal that you want to achieve (learning to swim, starting to walk every day, going on that trip, spending more time with family, taking a baking course). It could be anything. Look at the points mentioned in this post and analyze your goal from each of those perspectives. Do you believe in these rules? If you do, then you can work your way through overcoming the negatives, the limiting beliefs and moving forward to achieve your goal!
For any help on moving forward, feel free to contact me!
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