A fair number of people I meet have issues with decision making. I have written about some ways in which decision making can be made easier. The techniques mentioned are best when the question at hand is not easily solvable with a pros and cons list. In such cases, detailed rumination about the issue often results in more confusion. At this stage, it is also a good idea to learn to listen to your gut.
This article, however, deals with the price we have to pay if we do not make a decision. Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist from the University of Toronto and an author states, “You are going to pay a price for every bloody thing you do and everything you don’t do. You don’t get to choose to not pay a price. You get to choose which poison you’re going to take. That’s it!”
While I do not quite agree with the dismal picture that the author paints, I do agree with what he says in essence. I prefer to use the word consequences rather than price.
Every action or inaction has a consequence!
The consequences can be favorable for you or they may not be favorable for you. At the time you make the decision, there is no way of knowing for sure what the consequences will be. There is no way of knowing whether you will achieve what you are aiming for or to what extent you will achieve it.
Decision Making Faux Paus – Control and Regret
The reason why we contemplate so much about an issue is that we have a need to exert control. If the issue at hand is more important for you or the perceived risks high, the need for more control increases. There is no problem in deciding which flavor of ice-cream you will pick but a huge dilemma when it comes to choosing a career path.
It helps to know that you have no control over the end results anyway and you just do what you can do in the moment.
Most of the contemplation of whether your decision was right or wrong happens after the consequences have made themselves clear. It is a great thing to look back and learn from the experience. Please note that I do not call it a mistake because it was not a mistake when you made the decision. You chose the best option that you could have given your state of mind, the information available to you, and a whole host of other factors.
The only mistake is looking back at an experience and blaming ourselves for not being better informed or accusing ourselves of being stupid and over time moving into a completely indecisive state due to under-confidence. Doing this can also sow the seeds of regret, something that keeps you from living a full life, moving forward.
The Risk of No-Decision, or no Action!
Most of us look at the decision making from a result perspective. The starting point is the goal followed by the options that you have. Once the options have been detailed, you start to predict outcomes and assign probabilities to the outcomes.
We also look at risk from a failure perspective. The question we ask is ‘what if I do this?’ Will I lose all my money? Will I hurt my leg if I jump? Will I be branded as a rebel?
The other kind of risk is often ignored. We do not ask ourselves this question – What if I don’t do this?
The first type of risk is short-term and specific. You think you can see exactly what you will lose if you take action and it does not work.
The second type of risk is not so obvious. It has long term consequences. If you do nothing, nothing will happen in the short-term.
For example, if you are thinking about starting a business, the first type of question would be – What if I invest and then do not succeed? I will lose all my money. The flip side is easy to understand, if you do not invest the money, you will not lose it.
The idea is to take this thought a little further. If you do not invest, you will not take the first step towards starting your venture and you may never achieve your dream or you may actually end up miserable in your life in your current job. None of these options seem threatening in the short-term!
And so, as with many other things, we make decisions based on short-term risk profiling, all the while missing out on the big picture!
Ask yourself – what kind of risk do you want in life? A quote from Mark Twain may inspire you to choose better.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
If you want help with decison-making or learning how to listen to your gut, contact Shiwani for some great coaching sessions online! We are always happy to help by asking intuitive questions that lead you towards your own personal truth!
Recent Comments