I write this post just a few days after Thanksgiving and after seeing a lot of talk on social media about gratitude, sharing, giving, and charity. It’s great that we have a special day to remind us to be grateful for what we have and to remember to pass it on. It is totally up to us whether we make this a regular practice in our lives or limit it to a day every year.
On a social level, it is very nice to talk about how giving and sharing is a good thing to do. But I am sure that sometimes you may have harboured questions about why it is good to give. I’ll be honest here and admit, I have. I have often thought about why should there be a sense of responsibility towards a stranger and why should one part with one’s precious time or hard-earned money to assist someone else. Surely, each person’s (adults) happiness and life are their own responsibility. If I take responsibility for my life, should they also not take onus of theirs – whatever it holds.
Over the years, I have found answers to my own arguments in favour of giving and sharing. While you may have to discover this for your own self (and it is best done by trying it out and experiencing it), I present here some very strong arguments why sharing and giving is a great practice.
Happiness
Most people are in a rush to achieve some goal or another and in almost all these cases, the belief is that when they get ‘x’, they will be happy. The ‘x’ unfortunately remains the ‘x-factor’ that is never achieved or discovered.
Happiness is not an extrinsic concept. It is not something that you can obtain with the next million dollars, the next job, the next holiday, the next house, or the next partner. Happiness is intrinsic to us and each one of us can be happy ‘right now’. And among other intrinsic aspects, acts of giving, kindness, and sharing your blessings with others leads to happiness.
It is also a well-researched concept. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of the book ‘The How of Happiness’ conducted a study in which one group was asked to perform five acts of kindness every week for 6 weeks in comparison to a matched control group who were asked to do nothing specifically. The group of people who performed acts of kindness were found to have significantly higher levels of happiness. Similar results were obtained in a Howard Business School study that discovered that spending money on others (and not self) increased long-lasting happiness even though it was predicted that spending on self would.
It seems as if the journey from giving to happiness involves various others factors. Giving induces feelings of connectedness, compassion, empathy, and creates a positive mindset that then triggers the production of the right hormones and chemicals responsible for that feeling of happiness.
Physical Health
Giving helps you improve your health. Yes, actual physical health! If you need proof, then you only need to look up the 1999 UC, Berkeley study conducted among elderly. It showed that those who volunteered were less likely to die by 44% in the next 5 years. The research study controlled for age, gender, exercise, current health levels, and lifestyle habits. A direct physiological benefit of giving is reduced blood pressure, as seen in the 2006 study done by Rachel Piferi (Johns Hopkins University) and Kathleen Lawler (University of Tennessee).
Mental Health
Contributing your time or other resources towards giving helps in better mental health too. Those who volunteer, are known to have lower levels of stress. Participating in the community or charity increases human connection. It helps us combat loneliness while giving us a sense purpose.
Those who have a relatively comfortable life and wonder what it is all about can find a deeper sense of meaning in giving. It helps live a more fulfilling life as one contributes to life in general.
How Can you Start Giving?
For a lot of people, giving may not be something that comes naturally. If it has not been a practice while growing up, there might be a need to combat specific mindsets or beliefs.
Often people do not practice giving as a regular part of their life because they believe:
- I do not have enough myself – This is a mindset that comes from a place of scarcity. As long as you continue to believe you do not have enough, you will never have enough. Change your belief system and see how the universe starts change things around you for you to have plenty.
- I can give some money but I do not have the time – When you start to see for yourself how giving actually helps you, you may understand that you are investing this time in your own happiness and health.
- Other people should help themselves as I am helping myself – While it is great that you have been able to take control of your life, giving is about being grateful for what you have been able to achieve. Also, when you give, you are not really doing it for them, you are doing this for yourself.
If you are still not convinced, try the Sonja Lyubomirsky experiment for yourself. For 6 weeks, make sure to carry out 5 acts of kindness each week. Make a note of these acts so that you remain on top of things. And see for yourself. This is a great ‘Personal Experiment’ you can try out.
Once you are convinced and want to make this a regular habit, here is what can help you create a sustainable ‘giving’ plan.
- Decide whether you would like to donate your time, money, or both.
- Identify a cause that you feel for. When you choose something that you actually feel for you will remain motivated to continue.
- If you cannot think of something browse the Internet for charities in your area and you will be presented with a lot of options to choose from. One or two of them will surely resonate with you.
Our world has changed drastically in the last 50 years and technology has had a huge role to play in the development of society. In such a world, we need to consciously create higher levels of human trust, cooperation, and connectedness. We need to acknowledge this interdependence – such pursuits are essential to remaining connected to the human-ness within us – or else fall prey to becoming androids in the near future!
PS: Want to explore other intrinsic ways of discovering your happiness? Get in touch and let’s talk!
Featured image attribution: Convegni_Ancisa from Pixabay
Gratitude is much underrated and these days it is fashionable to pay lip service to it. But being grateful everyday requires practice and can change our perspective. Good write up, Shiwani.
Yes, I do realize that it is commonplace to pay it lip service these days. But anyone who has actually tried it cannot refrain from singing praises of the simple technique that brings in so much joy!
Gratitude is an underrated emotion. Though these days it is fashionable to be grateful. But practising it daily changes one’s perspective.
Good write up, Shiwani.