Reframing is a powerful tool that is used in psychological healing by many practitioners. Call it whatever, you want, it is but a new and helpful perspective of seeing the facts in a new light. It is easy to reframe when you are an aware, conscious, and open individual. If you can question your own beliefs with an open mind, you can then unearth new ways of looking at the same facts that may otherwise be causing you some discomfort.

Explained like this, reframing does not seem to be a tough thing to achieve. However, when one is amidst chaos and drowning in emotions and incessant thoughts based on past experiences, it seems impossible to question those very ideas that have become set in our own minds.

Additionally, there is also the challenge of actually changing the mindset and the self-talk even after one has cognitively accepted that the situation can be seen in a new light.

Understanding Reframing with an Example

Reframing is especially helpful in situations where we are stuck with looking at the situation from a single perspective that we assume as real and binding. Let us take for example, the kind of things we tell ourselves when we engage in negative self-talk. We often find ourselves telling ourselves what we cannot do by labeling ourselves with some adjective.

I struggle to choose the many things I have heard my clients tell themselves that are not helpful. But let me choose ‘I am always making mistakes’ as one that is relatively common. When you choose to reframe this statement, you ask some very prying questions to yourself in the process of doing so:

• What is wrong with making mistakes?
• What makes me feel that making mistakes is not acceptable?
• How do I know these are mistakes?
• What role did my expectations play in feeling they are mistakes?
• Could I have made a different decision based on the things that I did know that that time and under the same circumstances?
• Does it really count as a mistake if I have learnt something from it?

This phase in which you question your thoughts or labeling negative self-talk helps in higher levels of belief when it comes to the reframing. If you feel that you have the power to believe (for indeed it is a power that is not given it’s due these days), then you need not go through this cognitive exercise.

How does Reframing Work

The first step in trying to reframe negative labels that you give yourself is to arrive at a perspective that will help you look at yourself or the situation more positively. This might be tough if you are completely taken in by what you have been telling yourself for years. It feels as if it is impossible to cast off the layers of belief and conviction that we have so meticulously created around us.

However, you have to try and keep trying. Once you attain the ability of looking at a negative label and ascribing a positive angle to it and then believing it with all your heart and existence, it will seem like the most natural thing to you. In fact, you may even begin to wonder how and why you thought otherwise.

Some of the most common labels that we give ourselves that keep us from attaining our potential have been listed below along with a possible reframing that you can try. It is also a good idea to create your own reframing statement, something that is closer to your own truth and something that feels easier to accept and believe.

I failed – I have a new opportunity for a new start

I’m always making errors – I have learned a lot of lessons

I’m fickle-minded – I go with the flow

I’m stubborn – I have a mind of my own

I’m stubborn – I do not get influenced

I’m impulsive – I go with the flow

I’m lazy – I listen to my body and give myself the time I need

I’m too sensitive – I understand my emotions and am not afraid to show them

I’m obnoxious – I don’t say things that people want me to say and I speak my mind

I’m dishonest – I choose compassion and humility over being blunt

I’m blunt – I have the courage to say what is in my mind

I’m rigid – I don’t give up easily

I get angry – I have a keen sensitivity towards injustice

I’m bossy – I have the skill to direct people towards achieving common goals

I’m picky – I have clear priorities and I exercise them

I’m stingy – I have a balanced approach to spending, saving, and planning

I’m self-indulgent – I love myself

I’m self-centered – I have boundaries

I’m pompous – I am proud of who I am and not afraid to show the world

I’m unlucky – I work hard to get what I deserve

I’m stupid – I am intelligent in a way that the world does not recognize yet

I’m tired – I give in my fullest each day

I’m a freak/weird – I have a mind of my own and not afraid to be who I am

I’m a nerd – I passionately dive into what I love and follow it through, no matter what

I’m selfish – I can only love or give another when I love myself first

Putting Reframing into Action

Before starting to put this reframing into practice, you should have done the following:

• Identified the label you give yourself or the excuse you use most often keeping you from moving ahead
• Questioned yourself cognitively from all angles possible and challenged the all-consuming authenticity of what you have come to believe
• Created your own reframed statement that you would rather believe in and tell yourself – something that will help you move ahead in a more positive light

Once you have your reframed statement, you can practice it in various ways to make it a reality for yourself. To bring about the mindset shift, try any or all of these:

• Write the reframed statement on a piece of paper and put it up in a place that you will see a number of times in a day. Some options are the refrigerator door, the bathroom mirror, in the inside (or outside) of your cupboard, or your writing board. You could also make it the screen saver on your computer or smartphone.
• Take five minutes every morning or evening to remind yourself of your reframed statement. Write it again on a piece of paper and then follow it up with thoughts that come into your head that seem to take you back to your old negative self-talk. Pour out your thoughts each day. This is extremely helpful at the beginning stages of the reframing process when you are struggling to believe! If you choose to keep these writings, you will realize how you move from being a skeptic to a believer in your own cause.

Loving yourself completely requires you to love every aspect of yourself and that requires looking at yourself with compassion, understanding, empathy, and a positive mindset.

If you feel that you need help questioning yourself and that a cognitive interview with a trained professional will help, reach out and we can work towards creating your own reframed statement that allows you to explore and achieve your dreams.

Feature image attribution: Roy Harryman from Pixabay